I had a rude awakening last night. I realised that I have been used and abused and enough is enough.
I have woken up to the fact that most people in my life expect the world to revolve around their wishes and desires, It has hurt, but no more,I have pulled the plug.
Christmas has gone from my house, the tree has been stripped and all put away, all the decs are down and in a box.
My sewing room will be restored later and I will spend the holiday doing exactly what I want and nothing else.
This will be a first.
Ben and I will still enjoy our days, walking and popping in to visit friends, I will have the time to start my knitting and maybe even get a quilt top or two layered and basted.
I can watch what I want on TV, or not have it on at all.
I will keep posting and share what I do as usual.
Oh dear Pam, that is very bad news. Are you sure you are not being too hasty. I know people can be hurtful but your family love you and will miss you dreadfully. We all get taken for granted at times when we love but don't cut yourself off from them too quickly. Who will suffer the most- you will. I do hope Fran isn't to be included in this. All best wishes and try to forgive.ReplyDelete
aw Pam, this time of year can make people crazy, I hope it can sort itself, however I did the cutting out thing last year, [some specific immediate family members] and haven't looked back, I see the family but visit them,on my terms, invitations to mine have been stopped! Enjoy your festive break,ReplyDelete
So sorry to hear this, have a hug from me. I too have had to 'cut loose ' in the past.ReplyDelete
Take care, much love........
Oh Pam I really hope you are ok. I've been there and done that, not with family but a group of very selfish friends and to be honest it was the best thing I've ever done. However, family are a different kettle of fish and they are often hard work, sure take a step back, but if possible don't eliminate them completely, not unless you are 100% certain that is what you want XXReplyDelete
It is a painful realistation when it comes, but I have found that my life is far simpler without my 3 ' sisters' in it. I never give them a thought, and have had a lovely life without them being in it for almost 20 years.ReplyDelete
Despite being urged to reconsider by numerous people over the years, I have asked myself if I would have kept friends in my life who behaved as despicably as so-called family members have. The answer is no, and I have no regrets.
Take care. x
Sending you hugs, people can be such hard work, but please ensure you have a rethink in a couple of days, to be sure it's the right path. Bloggers may not live close to you, but we can always be there for you. xxxxReplyDelete
Oh Pam, So sorry to hear that things have gone haywire again. You are probably right to take a step away from what causes hurt. Sending positive vibes from Suffolk for a peaceful Christmas for youReplyDelete
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Just a huge hug from me to you.xReplyDelete
Just sending warm wishes your way. Sorry things have happened to cause this...your Christmas posts were filled with joy and anticipation...hope you have the holiday you need this year. With love.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry Pam,I can tell you are an extremely generous person and "sunny side up".I had to let my sister go from my life when our dad broke his hip.True colours and all that.ReplyDelete
Any reconciliation will be to suit me.
As I've got older,peace of mind comes first.
Very best wishes to you and Ben,
Ann and my canine pal Frank
I`m sure it wasn`t a hasty decision. Sometimes it`s best to look after one`s self. I had to ban an abusive stepdaughter from the home at Christmas day several years ago. It nearly split my relationship with her dad and me. I stuck to my guns as I knew that it was right for me and him. Years later and we are still together, but the abusive girl had to grow up and find her own way in life. She`s just become a first time mum and I do so hope for her sake that it will change her life for the better, too. Hope you can enjoy the holiday season without too much trouble from backlashing relatives. Best wishes for you and Ben.ReplyDelete
I am sorry you've had to come to this realisation, Pam. But don't deprive yourself because of it. You don't have to go without those lovely decorations you've worked hard on. Decorate for you and enjoy Christmas for you rather than for others. I'm thinking of you. Love to you and Ben, Helen xxReplyDelete
I agree with Helen..put back the decorations for yourself. Twinkly lights during these dark nights is always uplifting for me!ReplyDelete
Me too. XDelete
I agree that people disappoint but the season should not be thrown out with the bathwater (how do you like that mixed metaphor). Celebrate in your own way and enjoy what you can. Take care of yourself and Ben, the only love money can ever buy. I like and love many animals more than I do some people. :-)Delete
Oh Pam I'm so sorry to hear this but absolutely understand your feelings and actions. I won't go into my 'story' with family suffice it to say I do understand there comes a time when you have to put a stop on being hurt, it's not my children in my case. I hope you and Ben and your friends enjoy your Christmas holiday, enjoy your sewing it takes me way out of the worry zone when I'm sewing.ReplyDelete
Christmas can bring out the worst in some people, especially my Mother!! I would cancel it to if the kids weren't here. Spoil your self rotten, sending you a big hug xReplyDelete
Put your feet up, stay in bed all day just make sure you do what ever you like xxxx take care xxReplyDelete
I hope you have a peaceful Christmas and do what you want...it is a very trying time xxxxReplyDelete
Big hugs! i hope you and Ben have a peaceful day xxReplyDelete
Oh my goodness - I'm so sorry that whatever has happened has made you feel this way. If nothing can be resolved I hope that you manage to salvage some of the Christmas festivities for you and Ben. Thinking of you and, hopefully, sending good vibes.ReplyDelete
How things can change in an instant. So sad for you as this obviously involves Fran, James and Cerys. We,ve had a couple of years in the past when something like this has happened. I was so angry at the time, but things seem to work out overtime but my attitude changed a little after that. Now all that matters is DH and myself and all the others can be here or not. Christmas still happens! Hope you can spend some time with Maggie and have some nice long walks with Ben.ReplyDelete
So sorry PamReplyDelete
Take care .. and look after yourself .. eat well .. and rest.ReplyDelete
Tomorrow is another day ..
Chocolate, walks with Ben, time spent creating and more chocolate a bit of me time, just what the doctor ordered :-)ReplyDelete
Pam - Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that someone has upset you this much - take care of yourself - hugs from me xxxReplyDelete
Christmas can be such a difficult time. Cuddle Ben and know that he loves you unconditionally and doesn't make judgements. I truly hope that all will be resolved in the end, love xxxReplyDelete
Look after yourselfReplyDelete
Dear Pam, I'm so sorry to hear the sadness in your words. You are an intelligent woman so you will work things out in due time. I would advise a friend in need to not make quick decisions based on emotion - to think out a plan. Then execute the plan to serve your needs. Most people are good. It sounds like (from prior posts) that you live in a town filled with good people. As far as the others are concerned, do what a famous man said - wipe the dust from your sandals and move on. Good luck.ReplyDelete
There is far too much pressure on people to have a 'perfect' xmas, when in reality it can be a very stressful time, this is why I'm not a huge fan of xmas. Do what you feel is right for you xxReplyDelete
Oh Pam, I was so shocked to read this post, I do hope you are ok. I know you won't have made this decision lightly. Take good care of yourself. Big hugs for you and Ben xxReplyDelete
Sometimes, number 1 has to come first, it is all overrated most of the time. We are looking forward to our quiet time.ReplyDelete
You sound so upset in this post. I am so very sorry someone has hurt you so much that you cancel Christmas. Big hugs to you. Hope you feel better tomorrow xReplyDelete
Oh how sad. Hugs to you and Ben xxReplyDelete
Just found this. Dear Pam, make no irrevocable decisions, but give yourself time to take stock. Be gentle with yourself, and have a calm quiet time. Sending big hugs and warmest wishes. LxxxxxReplyDelete
Dear Pam. I am sorry to hear you have made such a decision as this. Please don't cancel Christmas just because you have been hurt by others. There is still reason to celebrate and be thankful. I hop you find peace in the coming days and that you wil be able to look at things in a different light when the dust has settled. Much love, Julie xxxReplyDelete
Sending my best wishes on Christmas Day to you and Ben.From a reader in Rochdale Love your blog .Many thanks .ReplyDelete
Hope you had an enjoyable day doing exactly what YOU wanted to do! I too was used and abused by my family for years, and when I put my foot down finally, was told I was selfish! Guess what - I have NEVER looked back and really enjoy life without my mother, brother & sister now. It is so much more peaceful. Remember, just because you are related, does not mean you should not be treated with respect. Concentrate on you and you only. xxxReplyDelete