Thursday 12 March 2015

Dull, Down, Day

Today has been grey both outside and inside. The Black Dog has been breathing down my neck.

I slummocked along through the day, did next to nothing except mope. I did manage to walk Ben, visit a friend for 10 minutes and get the ironing done. The fact that little Sophie had to be put to sleep did not help.

By 7.00 I was at my wits end so this happened.

Take 1 egg, add the same weight in SR Flour, soft margarine and caster sugar, beat well together. Put lots of golden syrup into a pyrex bowl and scoop/pour the batter on top. Cover with cling film and microwave on high for 3 minutes. Take from oven and put in a small tub of custard tipped into a dish, covered in cling film and cook on high for 40 seconds.

remove from oven, take off cling film and add half the syrup pudding, eat with a spoon and no guilt.

Then to compound this within 2 hours I broke my Lent totally and had some chocolate.
I cringe with shame.
Whoever has a favourite charity enter a comment with the relevant details, I will pick one at random and make a sizable donation.
               TTFN                                                               Pam


  1. Hugs Pam

    I get the Black dog now and then and I just keep myself out of the way completely. Its because you care so much and give so much to others but you hold their angst in your system and forget to release it. Please don't forget yourself you count too.. We can sometimes be our own worst critics. Sorry about Sophie its never good to lose an animal once they get their paws around your heart its difficult letting go. even when its not your pet. Eating the Ambrosia pot is quite understandable in the circumstances - it will have helped ground you. The chocolate I am not sure about. But as long as you enjoyed it and it did the job. Take care and hope tomorrow is a better day.



  2. Thank you Pattypan, I did enjoy the pudding but the chocolate was almost a punishment, and now I am nauseous and can not sleep.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss.......I so know how you feel..........

  4. Dearest Pam, please stop berating yourself about eating the chocolate , and I don't think you should feel shameful either! In the scheme of things it's not as if you have committed a heinous crime . The black dog is always a beast and I too have had my time with it . The loss of a pet is always sad too . Sending a big hug and cheer xxxx

  5. Run Free Sophie, you loved and were loved.

    Don't beat yourself up over the pudding and the Chocolate. In the words of Scarlett O"Hara, tomorrow is another day and so you can resume Lent.

    In memory of Sophie make a donation to your favourite animal charity

  6. Hey Pam, suffering at touch of the old BD myself at the mo. I too make that syrup micro pud, but....I mix the sponge mix directly in the bowl, clean the sides then drizzle a good cm of syrup over the top. Then microwave. Posting this after a night of awake on the hour every hour sleep.
    Let's hope the sun at least shines today :-) x wishing you better lovely lady.

  7. Hi Pam, Hope you're feeling better this morning. That syrup sponge sounds absolutely delicious. When we were kids my mum used to make a quick pudding after tea in the same way but I had to make the custard (birds) whilst she did the mixing and microwaving. At my church (as a kid) we didn't give up anything for Lent. I was an adult when I first heard of it and understand why it's done but I still don't participate. Don't punish yourself over the chocolate it's just not worth it, take Ben on an extra long walk instead.

  8. I'm so glad I came to read your blog this morning Pam. We all have bad days - sometimes a string of them. I hope that my dear friend Pattypan's comment has helped you as much as it has just helped me, as it has just hit home with me "you care so much and give so much to others, but you hold their angst in your system and forget to release it". That makes a lot of sense right now for me too.

    I hope today is better for you and please allow yourself the indulgence of that pudding - sometimes our body calls out for something like that to cheer us up. We'll forget about the choccy!!

  9. Think of chocolate as a medicine, it releases feel good endorphins which you needed, I am a great believer in if your body craves it eat it and don't feel bad about it or you just undo the work its trying to do, comfort food is so called for a reason, Its sad about little Sophie she has been unwell for some time and is now running free, long walk fresh air and think positive thoughts about yourself :-)

  10. In the whole great scheme of things, two yummy eats is hardly going to change the world. So stop beating yourself up!
    I hope the sun is shining on you today in many ways.

  11. Hello Pam,

    I feel any pet loss like it is a dagger to the heart.They give all their heart and ask for so little.

    My daughter is a midwife/health visitor and meets many women with anything from mild depression to severe psychosis requiring hospital admission.She advises the value of routine and periods of quiet when you can.

    I hope today is brighter.


  12. If there is chocolate in the house, it calls to me, so I have to eat it to get the voices out of my head. I feel for you, on dull days boredom sets in and the munchies take over.

  13. Dear Pam. Sorry to hear of the loss of Sophie (my darling German Shepherd went to Rainbow Bridge nearly 6 months' ago and I'm still tearful). Big hugs to you about your Black Dog Day - it happens to us all at some time or other, just hope today is a better day for you. Chocolate? What does it matter in the great scheme of things. Today is another day. Hope you managed some sleep. Cuddles for Ben. CMW xx

  14. sounds yummy, hope today is brighter. x

  15. Eating the pud was *necessary* to help you feel better, Pam, so don't take it to heart. You felt sad and it helped...end sorry to hear about Sophie. Hope you feel much better this morning. Still dull and wet here so I am NOT budging from my warm abode ;) Big {{hugs}} xx

  16. Do not feel badly about the black dog and the lent thing!!! If you want to choose a charity and if that will make things better for you why not Comic Relief as it is red nose day today? However, do not feel any obligation! I accidentally broke my no sweets by eating sweet without even thinking about it. You have to just move on - as you know! xx

  17. Hi from a newbie, but long time lurker! As a fellow companion of the black dog, I know too well that hollow, exhausted, nothingness, the foul mutt can bring. I also know that it will eventually pass, and reading lovely, vibrant blogs like yours does help me to come out of my dark place and start to come back to life.
    This is in no way meant as a cheer-up- things-can't-be -that-bad sort of post, Just a gentle thank you, and heartfelt wishes for your good health x

  18. The feeling of the black dog nipping at your heels can be overwhelming, hope there are brighter days on the horizon. X

  19. Losing a beloved pet can make anyone feel depressed. The pain can be just awful to bear.
    Be kind to yourself.

  20. Hi, Pam, so sorry to hear that black dog was stalking you. He's been sitting on me for most of the week and as a result I've had an extremely unproductive week. I managed to avoid bingeing until yesterday afternoon when I pigged out on mini meringues, vanilla ice cream and squirty cream. I also polished off 1/2 a McVities syrup loaf cake with more ice cream. Luckily I was so stuffed I didn't compund it by eating dinner as well so hopefully I haven't done too much damage. I hope you're feeling a bit more positive today. Thinking of you. Love and hugs, Helen xx

  21. Oh Pam, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think the only person on earth who has never cheated at Lent would be Christ himself. Chocolate releases endorphins which make us feel good. That piece was most likely a gift from heaven in a time of need. Feel better soon.


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