I do not suffer from clinical depression, thank the Lord, but I do get the odd visit from the Black Dog. Sometimes, indeed most times, if I get busy with lots of things I can head it off. This time it did not work, yesterday I woke feeling wrung out, strung out and just wanted to crawl into a hole.
I could have quite easily got back under the quilt and hid for a day or three.
There are Ben and Herbie, they can not feed or walk themselves.
Yes the SO is perfectly capable of doing all that, and has done many times. In reality having them to attend to is a lifeline, by the time they have walked, wolfed their food and, in Ben's case, retired to the bed of choice I am seeing a glimmer of light. A couple of hours or so later I head out with Herbie and Rufus for a good long walk. With each step my mood lightens, it does not go away, it does not even reduce by half, but I can feel the lessening.
I got through the day, made soup for us and W, tried a new cake recipe out, watched some Strictly take two (knitted on the Strictly socks). We did the weekly shop, I do not enjoy shopping so may as well get it done while in the doldrums, cooked dinner while the SO unpacked and put it away.
Comfort food, sausages, sweet potato mash, broccoli, carrots and onion gravy. It did help.
The evening slid by and we were in bed by 10:00 and I fell asleep almost instantly.
This morning I feel so much brighter, I have plans for the day and am looking forward to getting stuck in to them.
I consider myself to be a fairly strong, level headed and reasonably able person.
There are those in my life who refer to me as their rock, well rock crumbles under pressure. Hard weather erodes it and I have weathered a few storms.
If you have somebody in your life who is always there for you, always has time to listen, always provides a shoulder to cry on or an arm to lean on, make time to ask them how they are. Listen, really listen when they speak and not just to the words they say, try to figure out what they are not saying.
Ooh er! that was a bit deep.
It is far too easy to be so engrossed in your own issues that you simply do not notice when someone is not quite their self.
Now I am off to choose the yarn for Strictly Socks take 3.
yup the second pair are cast off and ends woven in.
Fran will certainly get her quota, and more, of new socks this Christmas.
I love the way the colour has pooled but am not happy with the actual colour in the pics, it is not at all a true representation. The colours are lighter and brighter and the purple shown here is actually orange! the green is really yellow.
Having said all that the SO has just shown me the last photo, from Monday, on his phone and the colours are showing truer. Goodness only knows what you are all seeing.
Before I run myself into a decline I will leave it here. I feel that it is coffee time before I go and "do" the bathroom etc.
PS. I hope that this was not doom and gloom, I do feel on the up this morning.
You can always ignore the text and focus on the socks.
Just took this and it is much truer,must be the dark background changing the colours. The blues are still showing as purple though.
I'm glad you are feeling better today, like you I'm a strong woman, but have been struggling this year. BUT as you say, get and stay busy, speak to people and knit socks!ReplyDelete
Walking the dogs daily means that I meet and greet several people every day and it does help.Delete
The socks look great. As for the black cloud I think it descends on a lot of people this time of year. We are saying goodbye to summer and flying towards the darker seasons. Glad you've lifted your mood.ReplyDelete
I do not worry about the autumn/winter, in fact I embrace the longer evenings. Love to close the curtains and get cosy and just think of all the extra sewing and knitting hours. The black dog has been a part of me for a long time, I just deal with it.Delete
"It is far too easy to be so engrossed in your own issues that you simply do not notice when someone is not quite their self." Ain't that the truth!ReplyDelete
How are you, Pam? I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today.
I sometimes think nobody (in my real life) listens to me.
I am fine today, I would be super if we had the dry warm day forecast. I do, every now and then, make everybody aware that I am not cast in granite, it is amazing how fast some people "exit stage left" when they think that you might want something back. As in support or even just to be heard.Delete
Thanks for sharing this Pam-you could be describing me. I walk preferably by myself when this happens and I do believe it helps to nourish the soul and spirit. XReplyDelete
The start of my day is always the same, I open curtains and look at the Mountains, breath clean air and feel thankful for what I have. Walking and the company of the dogs is the icing on my cake.Delete
Rocks do crumble sometimes Pam. I know all about that.ReplyDelete
I'm so glad you feel a little better today.
I am certain that most of us have a bad period in our lives. We just have to sink or swim and hope that we have the help to enable us all to swim.Delete
Good you are on the way out of the doldrums. I, too, have the odd blues day. It usually goes away. Hope you are back to par quickly.ReplyDelete
I am firing on all cylinders now, thank you.Delete
So pleased you are feeling better,I can relate to your issues. Alfie helps me as he has to be walked and fed and cuddled. He now goes two days a week to Happy Hounds to run and play with other dogs. We are older owners so we feel this is good for him and us. Maybe you would share how you knit your socks Pam you are an inspiration. I have yet to knit a pair which I would love to do. xxReplyDelete
Having a dog opens so many doors, there is always another dog and it's human to pass the time of day with.Delete
Sending you a hug.ReplyDelete
Thank you, I cannot have too many hugs.Delete
I can resonate with your post so much. It's easy to be 'chipper' behind a screen too and pretend isn't it.ReplyDelete
Sending a (friendly hug) x
Sometimes that screen becomes so fixed that it takes lots of pressure to drop it for a breather.Delete